How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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