she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize