So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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