we're blogging at a bar
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
