Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize