If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
love makes seman taste better
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
