After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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