No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
