It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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