..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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