he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
