Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
