Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
