just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
