He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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