This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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