Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
