Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
