I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Please, let me fuck your mom
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think I sprained my soul last night
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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