yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I bet he comes in French.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
