CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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