Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
