Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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