can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
