so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
