He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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