i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
