I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
