you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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