Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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