My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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