This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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