Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
There r osticjed everywhere
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
