Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i believe in u and ur pee
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
