i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
