So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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