yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
