Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
