tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
