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Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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