I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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