I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
