I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
