I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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