Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
