You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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