Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
