Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
