he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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