I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
