i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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