i barfeds in our rink
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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