You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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