i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
