All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
okay pat passed out under dana's car
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
