butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
