some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
