They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have feelings that need drinking.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
