Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
