Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's shark week go big or go home
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
