Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
