She said her name was "party"
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
