Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
