I puked a lego.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
how does that bad decision feel?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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